HEY THE ______ ING CHEF DIDN'T WASH HIS HANDS MAN!

I recently went to lunch at a local restaurant, a well to do dive, a place where everybody knows your name. If you were a murderer on the lamb it's a place you wouldn't want to be at, because..... well you can smell the coffee on this one.

Anyhow, I'm sitting at the bar having a mug of cold Heineken, but my bladder was telling me, "Hey shit head, I gotta empty out." So I'm like okay bladder, let's go empty out. As I stood bleeding my bladder at the urinal, I noticed the chef walk into a stall and light up a cigarette. There's only one reason why someone lights up a cig in the restroom. He's taking a dump. But me for some reason after I was done, I had to go back in the restroom to get something I thought fell out of my pocket. So I'm back in there and the chef was coming out of the stall, he looks at me and smiles and walks right out. What?! Is this a Seinfeld episode? The guy no doubt was taking a crap. Long story short, I went back to the bar, and asked the bartender, "Hey did the order for the wings go through?" He's like "Yeah Ron, in fact ah.. it's coming out in a second, you want extra Ranch?"

Hmmm, I had to think of an exit strategy, quick Ron think! Okay I got it, "Hey dude, I gotta run, here's a twenty and a couple more that should cover the tab. Give those wings to someone in the restaurant or eat it for you and the staff, take that new mug of Heineken and give it to someone coming in that's hot and thirsty." He looks at me like nothing, no big deal, "Okay man, have a good one Ron."

Until next time

Ron