Maui- Honolua Store's Kalua Pork & Cabbage

Okay this may seem redundant, but for you visitors, you want to know what we locals eat, and this is what we eat. KALUA PORK AND CABBAGE! This picture below is called a Hobo Lunch, wich is smaller than a regular plate lunch. A regular plate lunch consists of an entree or more (combo), 2 scoops of white sticky rice, in this case Honolua Store in Kapalua offers a healthier brown rice as a sub, but is it GMO brown rice? ha ha, who the hell knows just eat the damn thing and be on your merry way!

So this Hobo Kalua Pork and Cabbage, I got nailed a humongous 5.75 for it, one scoop of white sticky rice and about 9 oz. of pork/cabbage.

Who orders this shit? Well guys like me. Or guys not like me. Professional types, Socialites, Hookers, Pimps, they all eat this shit. And believe me, this is the shits (good)!

Photo: Ron Sambrano 2011

Maui- Jay's Place Pasta, Pizza & Subs

Italiano, Maui a style eh? No make a me mad I slice off a your nuts eh? Show me some a respect eh? You wanna have a horse head in a your bed in the morning eh? Maui, Maui, Lahaina, Lahaina, what a place, and believe it or not, we got another Italian dig that just opened up in the Lahaina Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, Suite 145 C. Phone 808-661-6699, Take Out or dine in, open daily from 10 to 10, ah.. that's like 12 hours. Hey grade school paid off!

My friend Lisa Fujiyama swears it's a great place for pasta, so I'll take her word for it, okay, one day I'll check it out, but I'm just here to spread the word for you possible travelers to Maui, and Lahaina.Jay's Place has lots of stuff on the menu, but what caught me eye? I  tell ya what caught me eye. The 8 oz. Grilled Rib Eye Steak with grilled onions and French Roll for 15.95, also the Hot Pastrami Sandwich with Swiss Cheese and choice of bread. Or the Italian Sausage & Peppers with Homemade Marinara and Linguini and freshly grated Parmesan. Man even the pizzas looks good, at Jay's you can build your own pizza. I think I'll put these things on mine, of course gotta be a large one. It starts off at 11.95 with cheese, and each topping is 1.75. So I'll put some pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Bacon, Meatballs, Jalapenos, Tomatoes, Olives, and after I nail several pieces clear the way to the bathroom, if I see anyone in my path I'll run them over like vintage Jerome Bettis (The Bus #36 Steelers/Rams)!

Yeah so if you're into Italiano, check out Jay's. My buddy Lisa loves it, and Lisa loves food, so if she loves it? Hey we're there man!

Photo: Ron Sambrano 2011

Maui- Keep your Grain Level Down! Foodland Farms :)

Saturated Fats Make Breakfast Great!!!!!! Keep your grain levels down, cholestrol high!!! Hey man there's nothing wrong with some sat. fats in the mornings, once in a while... I mean, some smoked sausage links, and some bad scrambled eggs and white rice? Can it get any better? Well if you are looking for a grab and go hot breakfast like I am describing, then head to Foodland Farms in the Lahaina Gateway, and for less than 3.90 you can get a breakfast that can put you to sleep!

If you are tight on cash for these reasons
1. You are being sued by the woman next door who is with the ACLU because you said a prayer in Jesus's name at a recent back yard cookout.
2. You owe lots of money to your ex because of child support.
3. You're broke because you love to do cocaine.
4. You're broke because you do ice.
5. You're broke because your wages are being garnished by Uncle Sammy himself
6. Your wages are being garnished by the State Tax Collector.
7. Gas is almost 5 bucks a gallon.
8. You had to pay a lot for your liver transplant (You alcoholic!)
9. You just don't like to work and borrow nickles and dimes from strangers on Front Street.
10. you choose. (Pick)

So if you are tight on cash for these reasons or others, Foodland Farms may be the place to get your breakfast that's already made.

Scrambled Eggs/Rice/Sausage
Photo: Ron Sambrano2011

MAUI'S Pineapple Grill... Yes, I do LIKE!!!!!!

I Do Love De Pineapple Grill @ Kapalua's Bay Golf Course, the food is excellent, the place is nice/casual. You wanna dine in shorts? Go ahead. No shoes? Well... maybe that's pushing it, but shit... the Pineapple Grill is the bomb! What does Ron (yours truly) like? I like the Thai Coconut Lobster Bisque, ah that's like a soup for those of you from the caves in the valley, and no it's not made from a can... I think, but that definitely does hit you and make you go... "WOW MAN! I THINK I SAW JESUS!" Me at times, I love me some beef, and if you get the chance, try the 14 oz. Coffee Rubbed Char Broiled Angus Rib Eye, it's totally different from anything most of you ever tasted. Well, most local boys like moi won't even think of marinating a rib eye in some Hills Bros. Hey we have a hard time forking over 10 bucks for a plate lunch you kidding me? The coffee is for the mornings muchachoz!!!! So yes- I would recommend PG, and if you love to practice your putting, bring your putter and a few golf balls, the practice green is right smack in front of this awesome dig.

Chef Ryan Luckey does a fantastic job, and on Saturday nights there's some cool easy listening music. Sorry, no hip hop stuff here folks, but if you want that kind of music, I think Delta and American Airlines has flights to L.A. and New York City, I'm sure there's a huge hip hop scene there                                                                       

.http://www.pineapplekapalua.com/

PHOTO: Ron Sambrano 2011

Maui- How To Act at a Luau

Going to a luau? First time to Maui? Okay, here's the total skinny on what to do and how to act. First you and the spouse gotta go to Hilo Hattie's on Papalaua St. and Wainee St. and pick out a matching Hawaiian attire for you both. For the man, you can wear some baggy shorts and flip flops, and a bright Hawaiian shirt, and the missus needs a matching muu muu, and don't forget to buy the plumeria perfume for the missus also, you got to smell like you're in Hawaii. Oh by the by, the plumeria is a very nice fragrant flower, so the scent will be nice on her. Or you don't need to if you don't want to.


And you need to pronounce the Hawaiian words somewhat correct, at least make an effort to speak the words correctly.


Here are some of the foods you may encounter.


Kalua Pork: (Kah-loo-ah)
Lomi Salmon: (Loh-mee)
Poi: (Poy)
Lau Lau: (Low, low: like now with an L)
Kalbi Ribs: (Kahl-bee)


Here's some of the places that have luaus.
Wailea: (Why-lay-ah)
Makena: (Mah-ken-nah)
Kihei: (Kee-hay)
Lahaina: (Lah- high-nah)
Kaanapali: (Kah-ah-nah-pah-lee)


When you get to your luau, some may have a native climb a tall coconut tree, while Hawaiian music is being played in the background by a few aunties and uncles working for a few bucks to support whatever they need. Some may have an imu (ee-moo) ceremony where the pig is dug up from the underground oven.


So when you are ready to enter the luau grounds and to your designated tables, get ready for your drinks. Of course most of the drinks are watered down, but it's all about the experience, you want to get shit faced, all the ABC stores close before 11pm, and you can get all your beers and other poisons before they close, the luau should be a fun experience. And if you're sitting near the stage, you maybe picked to share a dance of the hula. Yes, we do want to see you make a fool of yourself, just for fun of course. Hopefully no one picked on this evening will be some psychopathic killer that will come back when the luau is done and off all of the performers. Let us pray that does not happen.


So enjoy your luau.

Lahaina Foodland Farms; Wine Salami, Sauces @ R. Field Wine Co.

You want wine, salami, and ready made sauces? Are you on Maui on the west side? Okay my friends, my foodie, head on down to R. Field Wine Co. @ Lahaina Foodland Farms located inside the Lahaina Gateway Mall or Shopping Center. It is located about 10 minutes south of Kaanapali, just look for the Lahaina Cannery Mall and it's across the highway. Turn either right or left at the stop light where Panda Express is located or Keawe Street.


Photo: Ron Sambrano 2011

You will find a huge selection of fine wine from major vineyards, reds, whites, sparkling wine, and other liquors. Also some good deals on bottles you just have to stop by and check. Lots of crackers, spreads, and cheeses too. If you are in the cheese section, look for the Ahi Spread that's real popular. Lots of spices too that you gourmet foodies will need.














Also- some salami, ask the counter clerk to get you some slices for the condo, some of the best salami around the island. So if you're from the east coast looking for some familiar comfort foods, R. Field Wine Co. @ Lahaina Foodland Farms has the salami too.


Photo: Ron Sambrano2011

Ready made sauces for your pasta dishes, all here at this small neighborhood supermarket, if you're gonna shop and cook for your family back at the condo, give me a buzz, I love to eat myself.


Photo: Ron Sambrano 2011

R. Field Wine Co. @ Foodland Farms Lahaina, 808-662-7088 Store Director, Craig Kadokawa 6a-11p daily, 345 Keawe St. #304, Lahaina, HI 96761


DVD rentals
Coinstar Machine
Bakery, Deli, Seafood, Meat, R. Field Wine Co. Western Union.


www.foodland.com

We like try your food!

Village Cafe and Sweet Shoppe review Good dig