Going to a luau? First time to Maui? Okay, here's the total skinny on what to do and how to act. First you and the spouse gotta go to Hilo Hattie's on Papalaua St. and Wainee St. and pick out a matching Hawaiian attire for you both. For the man, you can wear some baggy shorts and flip flops, and a bright Hawaiian shirt, and the missus needs a matching muu muu, and don't forget to buy the plumeria perfume for the missus also, you got to smell like you're in Hawaii. Oh by the by, the plumeria is a very nice fragrant flower, so the scent will be nice on her. Or you don't need to if you don't want to.
And you need to pronounce the Hawaiian words somewhat correct, at least make an effort to speak the words correctly.
Here are some of the foods you may encounter.
Kalua Pork: (Kah-loo-ah)
Lomi Salmon: (Loh-mee)
Poi: (Poy)
Lau Lau: (Low, low: like now with an L)
Kalbi Ribs: (Kahl-bee)
Here's some of the places that have luaus.
Wailea: (Why-lay-ah)
Makena: (Mah-ken-nah)
Kihei: (Kee-hay)
Lahaina: (Lah- high-nah)
Kaanapali: (Kah-ah-nah-pah-lee)
When you get to your luau, some may have a native climb a tall coconut tree, while Hawaiian music is being played in the background by a few aunties and uncles working for a few bucks to support whatever they need. Some may have an imu (ee-moo) ceremony where the pig is dug up from the underground oven.
So when you are ready to enter the luau grounds and to your designated tables, get ready for your drinks. Of course most of the drinks are watered down, but it's all about the experience, you want to get shit faced, all the ABC stores close before 11pm, and you can get all your beers and other poisons before they close, the luau should be a fun experience. And if you're sitting near the stage, you maybe picked to share a dance of the hula. Yes, we do want to see you make a fool of yourself, just for fun of course. Hopefully no one picked on this evening will be some psychopathic killer that will come back when the luau is done and off all of the performers. Let us pray that does not happen.
So enjoy your luau.
And you need to pronounce the Hawaiian words somewhat correct, at least make an effort to speak the words correctly.
Here are some of the foods you may encounter.
Kalua Pork: (Kah-loo-ah)
Lomi Salmon: (Loh-mee)
Poi: (Poy)
Lau Lau: (Low, low: like now with an L)
Kalbi Ribs: (Kahl-bee)
Here's some of the places that have luaus.
Wailea: (Why-lay-ah)
Makena: (Mah-ken-nah)
Kihei: (Kee-hay)
Lahaina: (Lah- high-nah)
Kaanapali: (Kah-ah-nah-pah-lee)
When you get to your luau, some may have a native climb a tall coconut tree, while Hawaiian music is being played in the background by a few aunties and uncles working for a few bucks to support whatever they need. Some may have an imu (ee-moo) ceremony where the pig is dug up from the underground oven.
So when you are ready to enter the luau grounds and to your designated tables, get ready for your drinks. Of course most of the drinks are watered down, but it's all about the experience, you want to get shit faced, all the ABC stores close before 11pm, and you can get all your beers and other poisons before they close, the luau should be a fun experience. And if you're sitting near the stage, you maybe picked to share a dance of the hula. Yes, we do want to see you make a fool of yourself, just for fun of course. Hopefully no one picked on this evening will be some psychopathic killer that will come back when the luau is done and off all of the performers. Let us pray that does not happen.
So enjoy your luau.
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