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Tuesday, February 11, 2014


Some of you may be wondering what this blog post is all about, when I'm in Maui…well on Maui we have what we call people that visit…yeah you know some people call them tourists? Orite you ain't that fucking dumb after all eh? So I sit here at a local Star Bucks on my Mac Book Pro, typing some nonsensical bullshit…I think its some worthless business plan that will probably not generate any interest ...whatever.

So as I'm listening to Ronnie James Dio's "Rainbow In The Dark" a nice young couple sits next to me…okay they look pretty clean, their clothes aren't stained like those loser drunks that live in the bushes on the beach smelling like shit and piss and every foul odor you can imagine…yeah you know…

"Hi," says the dude…
"Hi" I respond.
"Hi" says the girl.
"Hi" I respond.

That was it for a few minutes, with my peripheral vision I see them talking and giggling, no doubt they're honeymooning, or possibly they are fooling around on their spouses and giggling, or maybe they were reading some funny book, or talking about some dumb ass movie that's playing…I don't watch movies, fuck the big movie makers, I ain't giving them my money, screw them!!!

Finally I had to show them some Aloha spirit, I mean it was the only right thing to do, I don't want them to go back to where they came from and tell their friends "Hey some local dude just didn't want to talk to us, because we were white." Or something, by the way, I think I am 1/8 Norwegian..that's right white man.

"Hey guys, where are you from?"
The guy looks at me, "Hi man, me and my girl we're from Portland, Oregon."
"Really, nice…man…what are you doing in a Starbucks isn't the Northwest a hotbed for coffee shops?"
The girl chimes in…wait a minute…chimes in? Okay I ripped that off from someone, she chimes in, "Yeah in Portland we got a few great coffee shops."
I respond, "Okay, I've been to Portland one time and loved it, where's a good coffee shop?"
The guys looks at me and says "Peet's."
The girl, "Peet's Coffe & Tea is pretty good we go there a lot…we live close by."
Hmmm Peet's, alright. 
They went on to tell me that their favorite coffee shop to hang out at is Peet's, it's just their favorite place. So after we talked about Maui, and all the good things they were doing like going on a boat ride and watching whales, and driving to Hana. And me telling them a bunch of bullshit like how I was dating Beyonce and Mariah at one time, and how I was an ex Navy Seal, shit like that.. We parted ways, they probably thought I was a lunatic out of the mental clinic I had to Yelp this Peet's…and Yelp it I did, I did.

From Yelp. Peet's Coffee & Tea
508 SW Broadway
Portland, OR 97205

For one thing that picture looks like Peet's is clean, no roaches here..look how clean this place is, I like the look. So I give Peet's a call just to see if whoever answers is friendly and will answer all my stupid questions.

Girl: Peet's Coffee & Tea
Me: Hi Peet's?
Girl: Ah that's what I said…
Me: Hey you sell coffee?
Girl: Ah yes we do.. we also have tea…
Me: Okay because my friends (Lie) from Portland said you guys are the best coffee shop in Portland is that correct?
Girl: Of course we are, stop by and see us.
Me: I would but I need to catch a flight out there Im about 3,000 miles or so away.
Girl: Hmm can't help you there, where you calling from?
Me: Maui.
Girl: Maui….wow! Well… if you ever get here…stop by and see us.
Me: I will, I'm on Yelp right now looking at your page.
Girl: Well I hope there's good reviews.
Me: Well I can't read…(LIes), but the pictures look good.
Girl: If you can't read how did you type Yelp in your computer?
Me: Voice activated..
Girl: Haha.. Well, we're open from 6am to 7 at night, please see us when you get here.
Me: I will thanks.
Girl: Bah bye…

Here are some more pics from Yelp.

Green Latte
Peet's exterior
I think it's some creamy drink
Another fancy drink, looks carameleee
Peet's Ad

As you can see, the pictures are nice, very professional and high def, not the cheap stuff like I'd use to promote any business I'd run, I mean if it was my shop, there would be cardboard signs with bold black markers used to make the menu. Yeah, I'm sold…if I ever make it back to Portland, Oregon I'd stop by and check out Peet's..can't say I will, but it looks inviting why not?