Locking the Lead Cook In The Walk In Freezer, By Ron Sambrano
It was a very nice sunny day in May, I guess it was a May Day ha ha. Well, this story takes place at the old Kaanapali Beach Club Restaurant & Bar, right smack on the beach in Kaanapali, and this was my favorite of all kitchen gigs, you see I hate cooking really, but just love to have fun, and this place was a fun palace on the white sand beach. Where else can a cook say that during lunch he can go swimming in the blue Pacific and scope out all the bikinis laying around eh? Well maybe some cooks on the Mexican coast, or something, but you get the idea right? Junior? Huh?
Okay let's get to the story, here goes. My boss Roy tells me and Darius the other cook that we got a new guy that'll be like the lead cook during the day time, I guess Roy didn't trust me and Darius, I mean all we did was puff on doobies, and maybe take a few swigs off of a pitcher of beer, but other than that, he hired some kook named (I have to change the name) Shit Head. So we meet this Shit Head, and come to find out, he's got a well to do resume, I mean he cooked at a lot of hot restaurants. But did it really impress me and Darius? Nope. Why? Because the cockhead wasn't any fun, he was way too serious. Try to make fun of a subject and he's all mister Catholic priest. So well, one day not too far down the culinary road, Darius and I decided to take Shit Head into the walk in freezer and lock his ass inside because he was just a Dick Head as well as a Shit Head. Have you ever worked for a Shit Head? Or a Dick Head? Okay, now you know why we locked him in the freezer. Reason? He deserved it big time.
So Shit Head is on the line while me and Darius were spinning salad greens or something, or talking to the cute prep girl, one or the other, but as we watched Shit Head blaze through the cooking with ease, like he was showing us up, we decided that we had to teach him to be humble, because all he ever talked about was himself, his self, just a little Shit Head you know? So we had a plan, a strategy that would make us proud of ourselves. Well looking back it was kinda immature, but what the hell, we were young and stupid, so that didn't count.
Darius and I decide to make like we were looking for something, and it went something like this.
Shit Head is at the grill, I'm inside of the freezer, and Darius is outside.
"Hey Shit Head, where's the box of shrimp?" I asked rather loudly.
"It's inside there, look harder, I just checked in the shipment."
Darius looks at me, "Call him inside Ron, then come out real fast, then we'll take the sharpening steel and slip it in the hole of the handle on the door."
Like an idiot I respond, "Shoot, that means we'll lock him inside. But what if he suffocates?"
"Nah we're just gonna scare him."
"Okay," I agree. Then I yell, "Shit Head! Help me find the shrimp man!"
"Comin," says Shit Head. Then he comes into the freezer with me. "Ron try and look to the left, to the left on the second shelf."
"Okay come inside and show me man, I can't find it," I say.
Like clock work, Shit Head leaves his station and starts to look for the frozen shrimp, but little did he know, I walked out of the freezer, and as soon as it was cleared, Darius shut the door, and slipped the sharpening steel into the hole on the door handle, Shit Head was our prisoner.
He was banging on the door for about 30 minutes, then we let him out. He could have died in there, it was close to 30 degrees. But that's the stuff we put up with back in the day, it was fun to lock up some hot shot you know? After a few days, he quit for obvious reasons, he said he didn't want to work with two psychos.
It was a very nice sunny day in May, I guess it was a May Day ha ha. Well, this story takes place at the old Kaanapali Beach Club Restaurant & Bar, right smack on the beach in Kaanapali, and this was my favorite of all kitchen gigs, you see I hate cooking really, but just love to have fun, and this place was a fun palace on the white sand beach. Where else can a cook say that during lunch he can go swimming in the blue Pacific and scope out all the bikinis laying around eh? Well maybe some cooks on the Mexican coast, or something, but you get the idea right? Junior? Huh?
Okay let's get to the story, here goes. My boss Roy tells me and Darius the other cook that we got a new guy that'll be like the lead cook during the day time, I guess Roy didn't trust me and Darius, I mean all we did was puff on doobies, and maybe take a few swigs off of a pitcher of beer, but other than that, he hired some kook named (I have to change the name) Shit Head. So we meet this Shit Head, and come to find out, he's got a well to do resume, I mean he cooked at a lot of hot restaurants. But did it really impress me and Darius? Nope. Why? Because the cockhead wasn't any fun, he was way too serious. Try to make fun of a subject and he's all mister Catholic priest. So well, one day not too far down the culinary road, Darius and I decided to take Shit Head into the walk in freezer and lock his ass inside because he was just a Dick Head as well as a Shit Head. Have you ever worked for a Shit Head? Or a Dick Head? Okay, now you know why we locked him in the freezer. Reason? He deserved it big time.
So Shit Head is on the line while me and Darius were spinning salad greens or something, or talking to the cute prep girl, one or the other, but as we watched Shit Head blaze through the cooking with ease, like he was showing us up, we decided that we had to teach him to be humble, because all he ever talked about was himself, his self, just a little Shit Head you know? So we had a plan, a strategy that would make us proud of ourselves. Well looking back it was kinda immature, but what the hell, we were young and stupid, so that didn't count.
Darius and I decide to make like we were looking for something, and it went something like this.
Shit Head is at the grill, I'm inside of the freezer, and Darius is outside.
"Hey Shit Head, where's the box of shrimp?" I asked rather loudly.
"It's inside there, look harder, I just checked in the shipment."
Darius looks at me, "Call him inside Ron, then come out real fast, then we'll take the sharpening steel and slip it in the hole of the handle on the door."
Like an idiot I respond, "Shoot, that means we'll lock him inside. But what if he suffocates?"
"Nah we're just gonna scare him."
"Okay," I agree. Then I yell, "Shit Head! Help me find the shrimp man!"
"Comin," says Shit Head. Then he comes into the freezer with me. "Ron try and look to the left, to the left on the second shelf."
"Okay come inside and show me man, I can't find it," I say.
Like clock work, Shit Head leaves his station and starts to look for the frozen shrimp, but little did he know, I walked out of the freezer, and as soon as it was cleared, Darius shut the door, and slipped the sharpening steel into the hole on the door handle, Shit Head was our prisoner.
He was banging on the door for about 30 minutes, then we let him out. He could have died in there, it was close to 30 degrees. But that's the stuff we put up with back in the day, it was fun to lock up some hot shot you know? After a few days, he quit for obvious reasons, he said he didn't want to work with two psychos.
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