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PERSONAL CHEF

PERSONAL CHEF
FOOD FOR REAL PEOPLE

Saturday, May 23, 2015

KITCHEN MORONS

Moron. Yep we know these Bozos anywhere, we can spot em, we can hear em, we can smell em, we can just feel their vibes!

According to my dictionary on by MacBook Pro, the definition is an adult with a mind of an 8-12 year old. Or I just call these adults dumb shits! Yeah that's it, dumb shits. And in the kitchens all across America, in those restaurants you like to eat, at one time or another, a moron was working there. I know, I've been in the business, and I've worked along side MORONS!

Here's one example, back in the day, like so long ago...Guns and Roses just came out with Sweet Child O Mine. Okay? Good. Now shut up and listen junior. Working in the kitchen, there was always one, one perfect moronic dumb shit. This guy, is an adult.. but like the dictionary on my MacBook Pro denotes, he had a mind of an 8-12 year old. Give him a task and he'd mess it up! Oh yeah, my moronic subject's name is Randy. Randy was maybe oh... 22 years old, a surfer type, with an attention span of a dead ant.

So this is the deal with Randy the moron. I was running breakfast and lunch at a restaurant on Maui, the delivery guy shows up around 730 in the morning, I'm cranking out hotcakes, french toast, omelets, Eggs Benedict and going crazy on the line. Randy is sitting on the chair messing with a knife singing a song.

"Hey Randy, get that checklist and check off all the stuff the delivery guys is taking off of his truck. And when you're done, bring all the perishable stuff in and stick em in the walk-in, then take all the cans and other stuff and store it, first in first out, got it?"

Randy scratches his head, "Ah yeah..." But for some reason I didn't think he got it. He kept scratching his head. Well, about 5 minutes later, he comes in. "Hey I got all the stuff checked out."

"Good, bring em in man."

"Okay."

Well... "okay" was the last words I heard from Randy during his shift. You see, our kitchen was on the beach.. it was the perfect place to work. On our lunch breaks we'd take a swim, dry off in the back room, and get back to work. Perfect gig. So Randy is not around, I walk outside, the cheeses are melting, the milk and cream is all warm. The veggies are wilting. Where the hell is this moron?

Well, my shift ended at 330pm, I called my boss Roy, and told him that Randy went AWOL, he told me to just let him go if I see him again. Well I did. As I'm about to clock out, here comes the moron walking into the kitchen, a wide smile on his face, his eyes blood shot.

"Hey man! I went for swim with some hot chicks from Santa Cruz bro! I smoked some unreal weed with them man! I'm soo stoked man! You are the best boss bro!"

"Hey Randy, ah... did you know you had a job to do?"

"Aww yeah bro! For sure man! Hey where's all the shit? I'm supposed to put em away, I don't want that shit to spoil you know?"

"Hey Randy you don't work here no more, you're fired man."

"Whaaat? Fired? What the hell did I do man? All I did was go for a swim with some hot chicks and smoked some weed!"

The End!
                    
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