THE HOTNESS OF KIM CHEE

According my friend Steve Galon who originally was from Oahu from the Waianae area, Halm's Kim Chee used to give tours of the famous Kim Chee plant. As I sat outside the Foodland Farm's in Lahaina the other night munching on a Hot Kim Chee 10-12 oz. bottle, he came by and started telling me that he went to the Halm's Kim Chee plant one time and took a tour. And this is how he told me his interesting story in Pigin English.

Steve: Eh Ron what you eating... (he sees my bottle of empty Halm's Hot) ... Oh shit! No way, you wen polish all dat by yourself?

Me: Yeah man, was ono!

Steve: Eh I went to da tour bra.

Me: What tour?

Steve: Halm's get one plat in Oahu, brah, nuts... Eh, you go inside deah, and your eyes start to water so bad, all the freeking peppers, hot sauces and all dat, nuts brah. Get so much cabbage. Won Bok cabbage. Bra get one line of workers, one guys job is to just sprinkle paprika on da cabbage, one guy's job is do add something else but bra, da operations is crazy. Da head of da plant told me dey ship dat stuff out all ovah da world! Even to Korea bra, wea Kim Chee is from. But eh he was tellin me, even da hottest kim chee dey make is nothing compared to da Korean's kim chee bra.

Me: Nah... nuts eh?

Steve: And he said dat Halm's takes care of all their workers so they no go to anudda company and sell dem da Halm's secrets... (laughs)

Me: Oh like KFC, da Colonels' recipe cannot be hijacked!

Steve: 10-4 dat. But doze workahz, dey juss like work and go home, dey could give a crap about stealing da recipe, besides, dey have mo important things to do aftah dey pau work. (finish work).

Me: Yeah- plus, locals don't want to be hassled with legalities if there was some kind of suit against them.

Steve: 10-4 again. But bradda, in dat factory it's crazy, since I was one small kid had dat kim chee. Dat and some Spam and rice, bradda dat's planny sodium no wondah we get high blood pressure. But Halm's Kim Chee is da bess! No can beat, every market get Halm's. Dat jar dey use is classic, from far away you can see- yup it's Halm's Kim Chee, no can miss, and da taste gotta be da besss in Hawaii.  But like da guys was saying, Halm's is hot for us but not to da Koreans.

Me: Da Koreans, Indians and Mexicans like hot peppers, that's nuts eh?

Steve: What is dat you juss ate?

Me: Halm's Hot Kim Chee.

Steve: Nothing to da Koreans, that's not hot nuff.

Me: 10-4 dat.

Won Bok or Napa Cabbage used to make kim chi