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Saturday, March 26, 2011

Maui- The Line Cook (A Short Article)

The line cook is usually some dude that doesn't have much aspirations, he knows the proper way to fry an egg, flip a burger, grill steaks, and make sauces per instructions from sous chef. But this dude usually looks craggly, scruffy, and more than likely drinks beers, and may be a conspiracy theorist, he has an attitude like F...k the world, and f....k this restaurant, but that's just him. Ask him why he didn't attend the morning meeting? He'll answer with a "For what? This place doesn't pay me enough to be here, I worked f...ing till midnight last night cleaning the grill and mats coz Julio didn't make it.. f...k!" And then the manager hands him his check and tells him to leave.

The man at the line is a warrior, okay maybe you read some Anthony Bourdain, but I been in kitchens most of my life, and I see it too. Like line cooks that take a smoke break and I don't mean a toke of Cool's, but some bud. Come back red eyed and asking the bartender to send him a beer, that's the racket. What a life in the kitchen. But these line cooks need to be babied because most of them are f...ing babies anyhow, they cry about every little thing, and some of them really believe they're better cooks than the chef that created the menu. Then why is it the chef has a bigger salary? Got to wonder, if these line cooks gave it some effort like maybe go to business school, or management school, or just shut the F up and cook, life in the kitchen will be better for all involved.

Line cooks should be porn stars, at a recent meal at Cane and Taro in Kaanapali I overheard some line cooks talking about the night before's sex encounters with their female opposites, but could it be a script? It went somethin like this.

cook1: dude Heather was F-ing hot man.
cook2: dude, Heather was with you?
cook1: dude, Heather has a shaved p....y bro!
cook2: really? Yeah I can see that, she wears some tiny bikinis man
cook1: F-ing A bro, F-ing A!

Now come on, if I owned this dig I'd fire their asses ASAP!

But line cooks could be a bunch of actors waiting to be discovered, or former heavy equipment operators, I worked with one Filipino dude and guess what he was? He was a surgeon in the Phillipines, he moved to Maui (Okay America) and needed to get re-licensed but never came around to do it so he worked along side of me hashing out Chow Fun at a local dig here in Lahaina. I worked with ex-cons, I worked with a hot chick that was a lesbian, and her lover was able to life a Harley over her head, F that shit! So that's what to expect from a line cook's persona, if you're thinking of running a restaurant, be in for a surprise when hire your kitchen staff because no doubt, no doubt... you'll have a Motley Crew.

Article written by Ron Sambrano copyright 2011

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