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PERSONAL CHEF

PERSONAL CHEF
FOOD FOR REAL PEOPLE

Friday, April 10, 2015

COFFEE TALKING AND COFFEE WANKING!

Coffee... I love this shit! Okay I'm not rich, in fact I'm kinda waiting for my riches and wealth... you know you got to wait, don't do shit, just wait.. wait and wait. Well that's what it says in the Bible, wait.. just wait.. so I drink the lesser cost coffee.
However once in a great while I'll get one of those more expensive cups you know instead of buying gas for the car so the family can make it to the other side of the island, you stop at Starbucks to get the family, 20 of these assholes a Frapp a Fucking Chino! That's like what? over a 100 bucks for sure. Haha. Okay... let's get on with getting on this Coffee Wanking bullshit. Let's learn about some coffee terminology shall we? And shit if you don't go watch t.v., or play with the dog, shit wash the fucker while you're at it, Bubba smells like horse crap, and he's a dog!

Now before I get started, I'm not going to be talking about Hills Bros. or MJB, or Foldgers canned coffee. Sorry! I'm being one of those Coffee Wankers!

The coffee term for today is Espresso, some coffee kiosks calls it Expresso, I on the other hand call this "expensive bullshit!" And for the love of Jesus, please don't get me started on the organic espresso Bozos!

Okay what the hell is Espresso? It is fine ground coffee, really fine. And it is placed underneath a very high intense machine called what else? An Espresso Machine. Now this bitch can give you third degree burns, so put on your fire fighter's suit on. So this machine forces a small amount of very hot steaming water through the fine coffee grinds and the finished product is a small cup of very concentrated highly caffeinated drink. Unlike using Mr. Coffee, that classic drip coffee maker, espresso machines make Mr. Coffee look like a pussy in the playgrounds. "Hey Mr. Coffee, you pussy!" Barista's will try and sell this expensive bullshit, you don't need it... well, I don't.  But sometimes... I'll take a shot. Just because I may have some extra cash in my pocket.

Here's an Espresso Machine.
If you want to make some stony coffee, just mix your favorite bud into the strainer, and add some cream, and steam it.. 

Aloha!
            
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